Stillness 6. Connections

So, we’re down to the last topic, and the last one is Connections.  You know, standing there all by yourself, out in the middle of nowhere, it’s really hard to feel a sense of stillness, it’s hard to feel anything because there’s nothing to cause you to feel it.  People around you give you the stimulation to feel.  They’re like mirrors, they’re reflections back and that’s so important for us, to be around people that we care about, even if those people are unaware of our presence.  It doesn’t matter, we can go somewhere, a movie or somewhere like a concert or something, a library, an art gallery, and be around people, even if they don’t know you’re there. 

The gift of this is really fantastic because stillness comes from being around the complexity of people but being quiet.  It comes from being around the diversity of people but not necessarily buying into any of the diversities, to just celebrate the differences.  So, friends, families, and lovers, those connections are really important for your stillness. 

But there’s something more important than that.  What’s most important is a connection to the earth.  So you feel like there’s something permanent.  Connection to the earth means to the flowers, to the birds, to the volcanoes, to the water, to the fish.  A sense of place that can’t be taken away.  It can’t be diminished by some circumstance.  A sense of connection to the earth is so important for us and it’s something that we, from time to time, we forget the importance of.  When you connect to the earth it’s really kind of like understanding what is life and what is death because the earth is there, it reveals death, and you’re not going to be here for ever. 

And having a sense of that completion, that journeying through your life and then the journeying, gives you a celebration, an opportunity to be thankful for where you are and an opportunity to come into a place of resignation, if it were, that really if worst comes to worst you’re gone.  And that’s the worst case scenario, you just aren’t here any more.  And life goes on and on and on and on.  And you can actually get a sense of the incredible time and space quantum. 

So, three billion years of evolution of this planet has caused us to be where we are, and three billion more years is going to cause us to be where we’re going.  And you’re just here for a hundred years or fifty years or sixty years, or whatever it is.  And in that time it’s such a window of opportunity to see how you are a vital part of a great, great, great, huge connection.  That all the stars in the skies, that all the water droplets in the ocean and the leaves on the trees, and the molecules, they’re all connected to each other and you’re connected to them. 

And so, you’re an important part of something far bigger than you can understand.  And that’s stillness, that’s when you look up at the stars at night and you lie there on the grass and you look up and you go, WOW!!  What have I achieved, just by being here.  What a magnificent opportunity this is, to witness the beauty of life, celebrate the stars, celebrate the earth, celebrate the water droplets and connect yourself back into the earth.  It’s one of the hardest things. 

People in the City lose contact.  They lose contact with nature and they lose contact with the simplicity of a flower or a bird.  I mean, there’s beautiful coloured birds and you know we’re spending so much time worrying about how we’re going to cook them, we forget to admire them before we do.  People are talking about how to prepare a chicken and I’m sitting there still staring at the feathers of the beautiful hen running around the garden. 

So, connections creates stillness.  It gives us a sense of belonging, a sense of authenticity, a sense of greaterness than our religion or our country or those tiny little boundaries we wrap around ourselves, saying, I’m a Christian or I’m a Jew or I’m a Hindu or I’m a Catholic.  We certainly know where we feel comfortable.

Finding Stillness

Stillness comes when we are without disturbance to our heart and mind. This means action with complete certainty, open mindedness and compassion, in other words, without emotion. The emotional person has only glimpses of stillness. The remainder of the time they are in the turbulence of life, spinning around thinking, worrying, stressed and making effort where no effort is required.

Emotional Law or Universal Law

Religious law, human law and personal law are emotional law designed to govern. Universal law is above these fractions of reality. Human law speaks to what should or could be, universal law finds order in what is. Behind every circumstance, no matter how humans perceive it, there is order, and therefore beauty. This is the requirement for stillness, to understand this order in the chaos.

Choices – Emotional Stress or a serious commitment

Hunt for pleasure, try to make the world fit your mould, follow some religion, argue right against some wrong, or get serious. One life will feel important, the other is.

How can you fulfil your purpose in life if you are always attracted to, repelled from, judging against or rooting for some cause you claim is right. This emotional life has no ground, only the dogmatism of the mind, the cause of all violence and injury, the righteous mind. To calm your life, to find real gratitude for life as it is, to remain present, certain and loving, you must learn a deeper awareness than your emotional reactions to your perceptions of life

Universal Law 1.

LOVE. We want love, we thrive on love, we want to love what we do. But how much do people know about love. Love is not an emotion and therefore not of the ego. The Universes exist because planets, stars, galaxies and comets, stay in place. Cells exist in the human body, because of the very same forces. Emotional people talk about imbalance and what is wrong with the world. Loving people look for the beauty in it. Nature seeks a balance in all things. This is called centred. Emotion, illness, and suffering come from imbalanced, un loving perspectives. People trying to be right. Overcome this and you will witness something profound.

Universal Law – law 2.

PRESENCE – Turning up means the past is not driving you forward nor holding you back. And the future is not more attractive than the past. Maximum growth of any entity occurs at the border of support and challenge. To be present we cannot value one without the other. Emotional and mentally blocked individuals seek one without the other. The wise seek both. Everything, plant, human, business and nation grows at the border of order and chaos. Any period of one causes the other. We stand in presence between them

Universal Law – law 3.

CERTAINTY. Worry, anxiety, righteousness, grief, fear, anger, pain, uncertainty – these kill us yet, they are mostly deluded constructs of the human mind, perceptions that are not really true. They are false because nothing can ever be missing, nature abhors a vacuum. There is nothing missing there are just changes in form. The emotional fruitcake sees only one side, the person who holds certainty in their heart, sees the perfection. Nothing can escape the interconnectedness of all things, nothing can ever be missing, just changed in  form

Universal Law 4

GRATITUDE. If you don’t appreciate it the way that you’ve got it, you wont get it the way that you want it. What you appreciate grows. Appreciation in your heart and mind cause immune strength and health. So people run around appreciating what they like in life, and wanting to change what they don’t. This is not appreciation, it is disharmony. Heavy metals, heavy people and heavy animals become extinct, they sit around talking about global problems and how they don’t like it. Ingratitude and by so doing cause more of it.  Right people are rewarded with calamity disaster and humbling circumstance, just like the environment, evolve or be evolved.

Universal Law 5

STILLNESS – Wanting, changing, marketing, visioning, ambitions, romance, goals – these are the enemies of inner stillness -contentment and contentment is the path to love. We must learn to have both. The one and the many. All things in the great universe are hierarchical. The many always report to the one. The one always reports to the higher. This means priorities. What is your priority, your inner stillness or what you want? Contentment with what you have got or desire for better and more? This alone determines the quality of your life, not how many back bends, prayers, or chants you can achieve. Contentment.


Universal Law gives you that insight. But few are ready for it.

Many people ask for this awareness but when their ego falls, or even begins to crumble they attack with a fright. We don’t realize how much we define ourselves by what we think. Even the courage it takes to step beyond emotional living. Or let go some fantasy and learn how to mould your perceptions to align with nature. You’d think people would jump at the chance to dump their drama causing emotions and religious neurosis, but they don’t. The ego has a firm grip, a daemon within, and it will not give up without a fight. Whether sitting on a mat in a meditation class, or walking a mountain trail in Nepal, the ego, for most people, is in command, there is little separation between self and ego. For most, it is all one.


With a separation between the ego and the self you’ll discover something magnificent; a way to live and work with an open heart, without emotional drama, an authenticity. To do so, you must be willing to challenge your ego.  That alone takes courage and commitment, and that’s where I come in. The spiritual pit bull. I share with you the tools for  pure inspiration where you’ll see the perfection of the world rather than want to change it, develop enormous self trust, breakthrough emotional baggage and understand the laws that make life and the universe perfect, before you came along, and perfect after you leave. Dilemma


Every day we are asked to make choices. Who to marry might be one of them, but there are millions of little choices we make, subconsciously, that we don’t want to worry about, don’t want to even add to our already burdened mind. Like what to eat, when to eat, how to sit, when to sit, who to talk to and how to talk. For the most part we operate on automatic pilot. It’s easier this way.

Our subconscious runs our automatic pilot and buried there, deep in our psyche, lives the daemons that cause most of our troubles. Left to its own resources, our intuitions, instincts, automatic choices will create a pattern and that pattern we call our life.

Reaction or action

How we respond to different circumstances, how we deal with different people, how we manage our business, our health, our stress levels, and most importantly, how we feel are all determined by the patterns we call “US”. When challenged, we say “oh that’s just me, that’s who I am, I am like that” but this is bull. We are not our thoughts, reactions, responses, beliefs or values. Those can all be put under one category of us, one element of us, they are our ego and they are totally changeable, easily.


Without an ego, we’d be dead. Enlightened maybe, dead definitely. Not wanting an ego is an ego trip. Wanting to be anything determines that our ego is alive and healthy. Healthy ego means polarized thoughts. This better than that. That better than this. This a preferred way, that a less preferred way. The ego is constructed out of polarities. The more the polarity, the more power the ego has. Extremes of any sort are the ego’s creation. Extreme love, extreme reaction, extreme stress, extreme attraction, extreme hope, extreme desire, extreme religion, extreme belief.

More Ego

All extremes are the ego functioning at it’s highest degree. Thus, both great and stupid motives come from only one source, the ego.

Personality, identity, values, beliefs, religious teachings, intellect, knowledge, perception, emotion, depression, elation, attraction and repulsion are all the same name for one single human condition, the ego. Fights, love, passions, success and failure can all be attributed to this one source, the human ego.

Healthy and Unhealthy Ego

Although the word ego is singular, meaning that we only have one ego, there are many different components of it. Some are more healthy than others. For example: there’s the ego in us that get’s triggered when we experience circumstances that we didn’t like in the past, and therefore automatically creates a response to cope or deal with those repeated circumstance. For example, if we felt belittled by someone in the past, (say a parent) then for the rest of our lives, any time we feel we are being belittled, the ego kicks in and responds defensively. We can call this our baggage, ego responses that are almost subconscious and automatic.

Healthy and unhealthy ego

Another unhealthy ego response might come about because we have a self taught, or religious set of values that exclude certain people or their negative behavior from our lives. For example: if someone was aggressive or abusive to us in the past, then subconsciously our ego chooses to avoid those types of people, or in the least, try to conquer, coach, cajole, defeat, be better than them. We’ll say “they are bad” and gravitate to other people whose ego is moulded out of similar stuff. We call them friends, community, religious groups or global action communities. Ego’s, stupid or not, collude to reinforce and support each other. Even in sport, national ego colludes against other national egos to fight for a trophy whose real value is a few dollars.

Right and Wrong

The ego, your ego, is also responsible for the definition of right and wrong in your life. So, it is a prized possession for anyone to affect. If a marketing firm can grasp your ego, you’ll buy their goods, because it’s right, and right feels good. Religions fight – compete for your ego. They call it your soul, but that’s just smoke and mirrors. They want your ego. That’s all. Your ego does encompass your fear of death, so, any promise of life, rightness and feeling good after death, is just the ego, expanded in time. Husbands want to control their wives ego. Wives want to control their husbands ego. That’s called sexual and emotional attraction.

Wrong or Right

The ego – feeling right, feeling good. Seduction is an ego massage, sales is an ego hook. Loss of ego is a mental health problem. Leadership is ego entrapment. Financial mortgages are ego enhancing. Jail is  meant to be ego changing. Childhood is ego development. Old age is ego destruction. Death is the end of the ego. Birth is the transfer of it from parent to child. Schools are places of ego consolidation. Offices are places of ego protection. Public performances are places of ego projection. TV and movies are places of ego imitation. Churches and religions are places of ego reinforcement and entrapment.

Own the ego own the person.

Own the Ego – Own the person

The ego is driven by two core objectives. Seek pleasure – avoid pain. In every human ego, based on experiences and beliefs those two motives have different expressions. People define painful and pleasurable in many different ways. Anti establishment means against the perceived dominance or abuse of power of a parent. In an adult it manifests in “save the whale, save the rainforest, save the ozone, save the glacier, save anything that looks vulnerable to big powerful other things” it’s really little egos seeking pleasure avoiding pain.

Own the ego own the person

Provide the cause – promote the anti establishment institution and like sheep all the egos follow. Global warming is one such cause, little egos colluding to fight for pleasure (the world the way it used to be) against pain (the world the way it’s going to be) and ultimately against belittlement. (feeling small)

Find the cause, and the ego will follow. Nothing is too big or too small. Authenticity is a rare gift in the world of ego. Subconscious magnetism drawing the ego of the individual on a personal quest, for God, country, for the poor, for the planet. The cause is irrelevant, the ego is the all important cause. Because it is always right.

Spirituality gone mad

Once, spirituality was defined as the struggle against the powers of the ego. The ego, in all spiritual teachings was defined as the devil – the hell of suffering because in the search for right, it was doomed to delusion. So, spirituality and the mechanisms of its teachings were revelations. It was defined as death because when the ego dies, it feels like a death because for most people, it is the first time in their entire lives that they have no identity, no facade, no  motive, and no idea of what is right.

The madness continues

Hope, motive and associations with religions fall aside and the real soul is revealed. But, now, America, the champion of the ego has massaged spirituality into an ego pursuit. Now, spirituality is a religious thing, a way of feeling good, feeling bliss, enjoying better, making higher, reaching something, another achievement and all such things are of the ego. The opposite to the intent of spirituality. Yoga was once a tight and assertive discipline in which the pleasure of the body was set aside and true inner searching was opened because in the pleasure of the body lies the ego. Yoga was designed to transmute – overcome the ego, and reveal the true light, from within the dark (ego). Now, people rush to yoga, purple matt under their arm because the enjoy it so much. This is not yoga, this is bogus.

Ego and Truth coexisting

That we cannot live without an ego is true. The ego wakes us, causes us to act, gives us motive, makes us want to make a perfume, smell a rose, build a business, climb a mountain, fight for peace, join a cause, donate to a war fund, believe in something that is better or worse. This is the ego and we cannot really exist without some form of it. Yet, to spend ones life subconsciously motivated in the thousands of choices we make each day by an ego is to live stupid. Animals compete because this is their instinct, humans have a choice.

Ego and Truth coexisting

To live the whole of our lives motivated by the hungry ghost, never enough, fighting against an evil that exists only in your mind, this is waste. To spend every waking hour trying to defeat an enemy, be better than, prove worthiness, rise above, become superior, get more pleasure than, this is unconscious and dumb, a life lived and materialized and returned to dust. Did you notice how much of our great grandparents we remember? they lived less than 100 years ago and already all their life long ego pursuits were wasted. Nothing of the ego survives the death of the body. It’s all important to the individual who is trapped in an identity fighting against itself, because the ego thinks it’s real.

Meditation – a time for truth

I take people to Nepal on Spiritual quests to find their truth. Every step of the way they fight me but it’s not me they are fighting, it’s truth. Their ego runs them, so their ego is going to fight. The more egocentric the individual, the harder they fight. Peace loving ego’s turn violent and abusive, all in the name of illusion and self protection. Truth is confronting, the self is a construct, and as it begins to be revealed for it’s instability it begins to do what it usually stands most against. Pain kills the ego. It’s not really pain, but we call it pain because it is the opposite to pleasure.

Pain kills Ego pleasure causes it

Somebody dies, somebody dumps us, something goes wrong in a relationship. Really it’s just nothing but because we expected pleasure (ego) and we don’t get it (ego) we call it pain or displeasure (ego) – This is all human and normal but not truth. Meditation is a moment of truth, we cannot meditate to achieve anything, this is just ego gratification (the ego wants enlightenment because it is more pleasureful) – But meditation is nothing, nothingness. In Nepal I teach people about nothingness. The emptiness of being. Here the soul exists, without time or space, morals or ethics. The void in which pain and pleasure cannot be measured. No you, no me, no theory, just is. Nothing, everything, this is real spirituality, no spooks, predictions or right. Just nothing, it is called love.


When a person asks for a spiritual life, they often loose everything. That loss is not essential, but if their request for spiritual awareness is genuine but they cannot separate their ego from truth, then de materialization is a necessary path. The key to achieving spiritual consciousness without loosing material comfort is this separation of the ego from truth, and this is achieved purely through the art of stillness.

Stillness means dead. No movement, no reaction, no desire to be comfortable, no ambition to do it right, no wish for an outcome, nothing, just stillness.

Sacred Love

A few moments of stillness in the average life can be transformational. This, in my book, Sacred Love is the first key to great relationships, stillness, because it was, in an accidental moment of stillness, that the relationship first began. Life exists in stillness, because here the ego, the illusions of life, does not exist. Ego is the mirage, the illusion that our thoughts, beliefs, reactions, associations, experiences are real. Stillness is the awareness of the opposite. That in fact in emptiness, nothingness, there is life, because in that emptiness there is love. Love and this is the real pursuit of existence. Stillness.

Delusion revealed through stillness

You may want to change cities, move somewhere else, live in another country, find a new job, get over some issue, change the world, transform a social norm, fight against global warming protect the children, defeat evil, stop the war, feed the hungry, raise awareness and be a good person. We can respect the human need to feel good about itself. To find a cause, to express a social good and fight against injustice. This is human, and we can call this EGO, healthy and well.

Delusion Natures antidote

Then there is another level too. That other level is stillness. Such other level is neither action producing or ego reinforcing. It neither judges the ego or supports it. Stillness is where the ego has no power. Where right and wrong loose their motive. Stillness is where contentment exists, nothing to do, nothing to change, nothing to nothing. The void is where reality exists and the struggle for ego supremacy dies. Stillness is home, but there cannot be walls, doors, a refrigerator, carpet, comfort, desire, pain, wishes, dreams, expectations. In the emptiness there is no God, the infinite has no definition, by its very nature, stillness has no boundary from which to call the unknowable, God.


To learn stillness one must first know how to define what it is not. In other words, the path to stillness is to know what is the ego. When we can define the ego, then all that is in the way of knowing stillness is removed. These are the obstacles. The ego is the obstacle to stillness. The ego desires, wants, hopes, wishes, needs, chooses, rejects, reacts, motivates, joins, accepts, attracts, enjoys, hates, judges, feels good, feels bad, expects, disappoints, approves, defends, believes, follows, stands, knows, identifies, is good or bad, the ego is always wanting to be right, the ego is always wanting to avoid, discomfort.

All is Ego

The ego is your mind, emotion, pleasure and pain. The ego is you if you do not know how to die to it. The ego is all talk about yesterday, tomorrow, the last second or the next. The ego is the desire to repeat, escape, control or achieve any state of human awareness. The ego is attachment and religion and any concept of God. The ego is the law, the rules, the culture, the value, the safety of wealth, but not the wealth. Find, identify the ego and there is a window through which you might be able to loose your identification with it, and therefore stop running toward, and away from truth.

The opposite to meditation is an Ipod.

Escaping from the world is no meditation. Observation of the beauty of the world is meditation. Even on treks in Nepal, with the most magnificent vista the human heart could comprehend, people walk with their ipod feeding their brain, intellect.

When sound, sight, taste, smell and touch arrive in the one moment, on the one topic, without force or separation, stillness becomes automatic. One must be able to see, smell, taste, feel and hear the same thing. If it is a mountain, a flower or a car, it is not important. What is important is the quality of observation. The higher the quality of observation the less the separation, the less the need to escape.

Get over your boundaries

Boundarylessness is a universal constant, and great observation connects us to it. Eating while watching Tv, talking while picking your nose, writing while tapping your foot, listening to the ipod while watching a mountain, these are fragmentations which simply allow the ego to operate with unlimited power, the subconscious mind reinforcing itself, the exact and diametric opposite to stillness, love and the truth beneath.


Expanding the ego. The smaller the individual feels, the more control their ego has. Trying hard to; be someone, exert control over others, create some sense of self importance or react to emotional turbulence are signs of people who feel small, diminished and are trying to be important. The ego is often used to compensate for feelings of low self esteem. The way people do this is to tighten their definition of themselves, in other words increase the boundary around their self defined individuality. This is called egoism. In order to decrease the power the ego has over our daily life, we must, in contrast, expand it.

All is everything

When the ego is expanded to include everything, it is like looking into a mirror with no glass. If we look into a mirror with glass in it we see ourselves, good or bad, we see who we think we are. WE define it. If there is no glass in the mirror and we look into it, we see the world and the world becomes us. We say, I am everything I see and hear and feel and therefore I am not separate. Separation is the ego boundary at work. Separation means I am my ego (small) and you are yours (small) and we are separate. But this is not true. The real definition of us is that we are reflected in everything.

Religion and the Ego

The smallest ego is the one defined by a particular religion or sect. Jew, Catholic, Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Protestant – these are the smallest and most trivial ego states. We are not our religion, we are all religions, it is a sea and we cannot say, I am a drop in it. Where would I begin and end as a drop, I am not separated into a member of a congregation, I am life and I am the love that comes from all religions that are taught with truth.


Instead try the ego-less state of being lost in religion. Accept that all religion is one religion and that the fragmented teachings of each fraction of truth, collude to create one truth. Lost means “I don’t know” how many times a day can you say “I don’t know” This is the lost identity and the true religion, I don’t know. Then the ego expands to encompass everything. All is true, means all is good and bad. That is real.

Knowledge and the Ego

The more you know, the more you know that you don’t know. Awareness of the real size of existence, can disconnect the power of the intellect over you. Stillness and intellect are two different things. Intellect knows, stillness is empty. Empty is only relative. It implies that compared to the vastness, I, my identity is emptiness. The universe, 50 billion galaxies, with 6 trillion stars. We cannot sit on earth, thinking ourselves so pious and right about global warming with this consciousness. Only small minded people can have such sorry egos.

Finding Stillness

Not sleeping well? Facing challenge? Feeling tired or exhausted allot? Getting run down, unfit? You might be thinking “I need a break” or to “change my workplace” but think it through, “if you always do, what you’ve always done, you’ll always get, what you’ve always got” What you might need is a change of heart. Smarter thinking, less work hours, more precision, less confusion, more energy for the other side of your life.

The key to all this is how you manage your ego.

Your ego is a mass of thoughts, both conscious and unconscious. So, getting through it is complex, drawn out process, similar to cleaning the mud out of muddy water in a bucket. The more you dip you hand in, the more you stir up the mud and the harder it is to clean.

So, rather than get tangled cleaning up the ego, the better way is, to jump over it. Your heart and mind need a home that is not centred in that muddy world of your ego. Money needs a bank, an aeroplane needs a runway, your body needs safety at night and your mind and heart need a home outside the ego.



The unique home your mind and heart need is stillness, it is a space, a state of mind. Stillness is a space from which sleep is deep, facing challenge is easy, certainty comes and  thinking is clearer. It is a space where calm and rest are automatic. This space of stillness is also the primary requirement for inspiration and love. It is a solid base from which you can launch and return when you need it.

Your ego can win and these are the spoils of it’s victory over your heart –mind space.






Long working hours

Unproductive mind states

Emotional drama





These are the battles the ego can’t win





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