Are you really alone? Are you really isolated? Or are you just observing the illusion of connection?
Chris Walker
Small minds see small things. Big minds see big pictures. Today there is no illusion, no hiding.
Small thinking …my children, my partner, my car, my house, my problems, my connection, my isolation….
Big thinking… borrowed children, independent human I share my journey with, roof over your head, insulation from the weather, illusions of ownership, opportunities to love, you are never alone.
The “woopie-do” of the material world causes us all to think me. It’s great. We think we are getting bigger and better by having stuff. Like “I got a new car…. mmmmm … mmmm … arent’ I better than before!!!! (no question mark here) Or, “hey, facebook friends, I won a gold at the solo beach frog sand walking backwards at night competition” – see my smile, see me, I’m bigger than before. I got something. It’s mine, all mine… “sinister chuckle here.”
So, I and my translates to the idea of you being a better person by possession. The more I have, the more I do, the busier I am, the more babies, the more books I read, the more ancient Greek philosophers I quote and the more Youtube video’s I create, the bigger, the more important I am. UNTIL..
Covid19…
And then possession doesn’t mean what it did before. The fear mucks with us, burst the “it’s mine” bubble and we start to think how much of what we’ve possessed we’d give away to become immune… I mean, i was thinking about my partner as a sacrifice to the gods, but that’s no going to stop the virus either. Possession is an illusion, a substitute for truth.
Don’t get me wrong. I want things just like you. I want to possess cars, planes, houses, Islands, youtube likes and facebook shares, but I’ve got a problem. I’ve lost everything, several times (4 times in fact) and so, my reality has been shattered forever, I know I posses nothing, it’s only leant to me.
Ironically, if you search hard enough you always find a book that agrees with your illusion so, my search landed me with “Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse”
Small thinking is one of the four greatest tricks we play on ourselves as humans. Try reading “Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning” – truly revealing. It’s a short cut to bypassing possession as a substitute for love
Another trap is the food friend.
Chris Walker
When you hear someone describe Messina ice cream you’re no sure whether they are describing an evangelical experience, an orgasm or food. We disociate ourselves through our senses and so food becomes a “friend.” Cooking and preparing food has become a television obsession for some, and yet, what is food? Is it really so much a friend, or a necessity for living your real life? Mind you, if they eliminated mangos from the world I would be heart broken. Food and alcohol become associated with escape. A hamburger or pizza in Australia has taken over from “fish and chips” as the treat go-to meal for those “we deserve it” reward nights. But is food really a friend, or a good way to distract us from living a real love life.
An athlete or a performer must eat to regime. Food is held as a nourishment and one does try to make it palatable. But at the end of the day, it’s a source of energy for performance, not a means to itself. Food therefore is no substitute, although, last night at the end of a bottle of red wine with a friend, I felt like I was in heaven. I wasn’t. If i’d died in that moment I would have been pissed at myself for wasting life, rather than partially pissed, (tipsy) as I was.
A toxic mix – Spirituality versus Reality
Chris Walker
I’ve studied Zen. I wear it as a badge of honour. Basically it’s the perfect way to feel good about yourself when you do nothing. I studied yoga and the spritiual side of it, even building two yoga schools, living in India and teaching around the world. I also wear it as a badge of honour, but yoga competed with the reality of life rather than complimented or helped me function in it. I wear these exploits as badges of honour but to be honest with you, I’m Chris, and in my heart, I’m still the same me in spite of it all.
My partner asked me “have you changed your mind about loving me?” I replied yes, every day at least twice, but in my heart, where there is no yoga or zen, I cannot influence my love, my heart loves you and there is no why. So, in this way I’ve learned the illusion of connection through mindset. It’s not truth, it’s a substitute for it. Reality is spiritual, every step, every breath, every virus, it’s all spiritual.
I’ve read 10,000 books on the spiritual dimension of life. Encyclopedia’s and ancient Egyptian scrolls. What I’ve learnt, is that a mind full of false expectations is more toxic than a mind empty. Knowledge “what we call spiritual connection” is no knowledge, it’s actually a diversion that makes us feel like something is better about us. But how can you improve on perfection? There is no need to attach ourselves to spirituality other than to escape reality. But reality is the greatest spirituality… Being in your heart, there is no where to go, nothing to improve, no better place.
SEX
Chris Walker
I am going out on a limb talking about something I love so much, but here goes. Sex doesn’t make you happy. Happy people have great sex. Sex doesn’t make you feel great. People who feel great have great sex. Sex doesn’t make a great relationship. Great relationships have great sex. I can go on, but I think you get the drift.
For the best part of 8 years of my first marriage we had great sex. We loved each other, we enjoyed our life, we were happy. We had happy, great, sex. But then the relationship started to flounder and to boost it, we chose sex. We tried better, more, less, kinky, sacred, upside down, tantra and more than the two of us. We tried to fix our relationship by having better, happier, funner and more loving sex. We did a good job, but it wasn’t the solution. You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear…
SO, what are we on about here.
You are you. Food, yoga, sex, things don’t make any difference other than to blur the feeling of isolation. As isolation creeps into its second week, or fourth for some, you may be feeling bored. This is how it feels to be in your heart. Don’t run. Sit through it. This feeling will eventually be recognised and remembered. It is not boredom, it is life. Stimulation is the false sense of connection. Stay quiet. You’ll find your heart in that place we so often spend a lifetime running from. It’s an opportunity.
INSPIRED THINKING 