No More Substitutes Please

Drugs are ‘cunning, baffling, and powerful.’ They teach people that in rehab. Drugs can change your soul. I’ve seen it happen to so many people. But through forty years of helping people change their life, drugs have not been the greatest, nor most dangerous addiction. Drug addicts always seemed to maintain their sense of self. No matter how anti social they became, how many beatings they took from drug dealers, they were operating from a sense of search survival. But in my experience, those who are addicted to a far worse thing than drugs, those are the dangerous people. From these people I’ve had my life threatened, my nose broken, my money stolen, my relationship destroyed, my family threatened and my right to my thoughts jeopardised. I was threatened to be shot twice by people at close range. They had this other addiction, not drugs. But nobody talks about it. Despite all these afflictions, despite all that darkness, nobody talks about or offers to treat this other addiction. Maybe you know why? Throughout my life I was able to maintain my sanity and self-respect because I didn’t have that other addiction. I’d never hurt anyone. I would never attack anyone. Would never rob people. Wouldn’t yell, or scream, or frighten people. That’s not who I was because I didn’t have this other addiction. I never forgot my name. I never forgot my birthday. I used to go to the library, and open the best art books and admire the genius of people, and I’d memorise all the poems I loved that were romantic and perfect, even from Septuagenarian Stew by Charles Bukowski and Rumi. I wanted to document myself. I wrote books. I’ve always known my human worth. I think so much of that came from my connection to nature. That’s where I learned to love. There’s a word called ‘superego,’ and it means how you’re trained by your parents and your home life. It’s the thing that guides you. I can still hear my mother’s voice talking to me today. Telling me to take care of myself. And to respect myself. Saying: ‘You’re a good person, Chris.’ That’s one thing even though she was not here on earth with a body, she always did it. She always called me by my name in my sleep. Even when I let her down. Even when I stole from nature. Even when the whole world was ignoring me. Mother nature never called me ‘idiot.’ She always called me Chris. And she told me that I’d always been a good person. But she was honest with me. So I never caught that other addiction like most of my friends or even the mother of my children and to some degree my children. By being sort of shy, I was immune from that other addiction. I gave that other addiction a name. I called it substitutes. The WHO made a song about it.

So, what are the substitutes and what are they substituting for.

Love is born in the heart of every human. They teach people that in most religions and spiritual teachings. Then they teach substitutes. So we think substitutes are love. But we get more and more substitutes but can’t feel that love. We chase substitutes thinking we will find love. But we never do. We get addicted to the substitutes because we are searching for love and we think if we get more of the substitutes we will find the love, but we don’t. The more we become disappointed in the result, the more we experience the frustration and disappointment of mid life. This mid life can even start at 22 years of age. It’s not an age thing, it’s an addiction problem. Four main addictions become the cornerstones of our life, the four things we think will lead to love. So we chase substitutes, get addicted to those four things. And that’s what I’ve never had because I lost my birth mother and got a slam dunk into reality by nature. Addictions can’t change your soul. Your soul seeks truth. Addictions seek substitutes. I’ve seen it happen to so many people for a lifetime.. Substitute addicts lose their sense of self. No matter how many times substitutes fail them, they remain addicted. No matter how many beatings life delivers they remain steadfast addicted. No matter how many heartbreaking disappointments from careers and partners, and their body get delivered to them their addiction remains untreated. They are not operating from a sense of search or survival. They think they are on the right road. Somehow the addiction to substitutes gets under their skin, into their mind, and even they can start selling the addiction to others. But in my experience, those who are addicted substitutes remain alive but dead. Because when the substitute for love is at the process of a “doing something” or “being something” to find the love we need for life, the whole addiction becomes violent. The doing and the being become stressed, defensive, hopeful, wishing, feeling unmotivated, It’s a far worse thing than drugs, Substitute addicts, those are the dangerous people. The four substitutes: Mouth, Mind, Sex, Spirituality. So addictive. And none of them lead to love.


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