As a business coach I get to see a huge diversity of problems people face. Relationship, business, health, financial, family and career crisis. None of it is funny and it all hurts. Crisis is a difficult place. And I have been there too, so I know what I’m talking about here.
But there’s something far more sinister that’s lurking in 2021 and seems to be making a permanent place in 2022: anger. Anger is a real demon. It sits unidentified beneath so much motivation, and it’s not just directed at others.
I’m guessing that the majority of people I meet are angry. Mostly they express this anger as passive annoyance that things aren’t going the way they want, but, a few months of that builds into anger.
Let’s just sit back a minute and talk about the benefits of anger. As you know, everything that exists is a part of creation and can’t be controlled unless it is loved. Anger included. So, the benefits of anger must, before we head into deep water condemning it, recognise why it’s here. Anger motivates change. Most people who are obsessed with getting what they want are angry.
Anger reveals diversity and differences. And there’s allot of energy and power in anger.
But there’s a cost. Anger vented toward others is hurtful, abusive and very invasive.
And to make matters worse, anger toward self, which is the virus that’s going to take over when Covid finishes, is probably the greatest killer on earth. Anger turns friends to enemies, lovers into spiteful children, it turns people against each other and justifies violence. Anger can, when it reaches fever pitch, be irrational to the core.
A degree of anger exists in all of us. Anger at burning the toast, or missing the deal, or that disrespectful parking cop that booked you for staying too long. This anger is one topic, but when anger accumulates, builds and builds, it turns within and makes everything turn to disagreeable.
Last week I met a woman I hadn’t met for a long while. I know her through the dog park. She was screaming at her dog. She had a look in her eyes that was awful. This quite wealthy person, has been doing yoga and karate for the past 10 years, but none of it, not one single class has changed her anger. Because anger isn’t the problem. She’s pissed that the world doesn’t meet with her expectations. In a way, she loves too much, and nothing goes her way. Her expectation exceeds the possibility of humanity. She wants everything to be as she wants. Not what she needs.
I think we need to be careful with this anger. The greatest danger is your health. You can measure your anger in: blood pressure, body weight, mood swings, stressfulness, criticisms, frustration, disappointment, and, the inability to change your goals. More about that later.