My job is to understand you. Understand what you want. Understand where you have been. Understand why you are here. Understand what you do. Understand where you are going. And with that understanding, help you go there.
Sometimes what you’ve done and where you are going, why you are here and who you define yourself as fall into conflict with each other. That’s my job again, to unravel any blocks for you.
When what we do and where we are going in life fall into conflict we lose a sense of why we are here. All of that is part of the where did we come from question. Where we come from determines our confusions, our prejudices, our expectations and confusions. Change one, change all.
Then there is an awareness of your constitution. If you have a particular constitution it goes far deeper than your character or personality type. Your personality type (Myer Briggs) etc can easily be changed. But your constitution cannot be changed. Your constitution does not determine so much what you do in life, but how you prefer to do it. In other words, your way….
To help me understand where you are going I get you to do a vision quest with me. That’s a very important element of your journey and helps me to help you match your hopes and dreams with your behaviour.
Modelling behaviour is important for you because if you want to get where you are going it’s important that you do not get distracted, so, the next step in coaching is to help you debrief what’s going on in your life right now so that it doesn’t become distracting. That means to process stress, anxiety, health plan, communication and business plan in career to fit nicely with your destiny. This is enjoyable, the process of removing distractions.
Finally, there are others you care about and a part of understanding where you are going, why are you here, who are you and where have you been, is to influence those you care about in the way that’s best for them and you. There is little use arriving at your destination in life alone.
Now all of this might sound complex, and it is. But I do have the gift of seeing order in chaos. Therefore, for me, as a coach, this complex web becomes a pattern that’s simple to understand and help you. I can prescribe the adjustments you might consider in your actions, thoughts and words that give you a great alignment between enjoying your day and what you want to achieve.
Another very significant piece of coaching is to make sure you live long enough to enjoy the fruits of your labours. Sometimes we get into self sacrificial ways of living that build a future but don’t budget on us being around long enough to enjoy it. So, health, wellbeing, spirituality, inner calm, inner wealth and happiness become a core debriefing topic in weekly expiration and understanding of your ways. We want to continually improve your longevity and youthfulness, to keep you relevant in work but more importantly not age you way beyond your years. As you know already, most people do not die of old age. They slow suicide.
I am not here to tell you what to do but more to help you get what you want at the least cost in life. To achieve the biggest results in the least time with the least waste. I focus on effective performance and efficient process to achieve.
Also, the health of not using your relationship as a sounding board for work or personal choices creates a space in your relationships to celebrate what they are really about, and that is the 33.333% of life the two of you have in common. Many times coaching saves marriages not through telling you how to live in a relationship but by unloading the overwhelming overload we place in relationships and giving that space back to calm, love, balance and joy.
So, it is very important to understand that I am not here to tell you what to do in coaching nor prescribe a silver bullet to make life go away. More, we use your own self determined awareness, unique qualities and experience, and ambitions for the future to create your own unique path and in doing so make your load ligher and easier to carry along the way.
But helping you do what you want is just the tip of the iceberg. There is a far greater challenge ahead of you than you may be able to predict and so, education, how to handle larger and larger volumes of stress, how to stay calm and clear if things change and how to keep your intended future immune from the ravages of evolving drama.
The one thing we can all agree on is that life is a learning experience. Everything, win or lose, becomes an opportunity to advance our self awareness and, most importantly, do better. So, education, the development of new, currently not essential skills, is essential.
For this, I will introduce you to concepts that may reap more benefit in the future. Keeping pace with an accelerating world is essential to any individual who wants to remain competitive. Competitive strategy is the essence of nature’s universal laws. So, I will show you how to apply:
- The Law of Balance.
- The Law of Evolution
- The Law of Abundance
- The Law of Harmony
- The Law of the One and the Many
By sharing these powerful, universal laws, you too can get to see the order in the chaos and therefore become a better leader and partner.
The world can be a pretty mundane place when we are required to eat, sleep, work repeat. Sometimes we even self sabotage or take stimulants to trigger some sort of engagement. Boring is bad for us. One of the essential ingredients of coaching is to inspire you.
A shot of inspiration every week lasts a week. It’s a burst of energy from a coaching session that takes a week to digest, apply, contemplate and come to terms with. This weekly shot, burst and kick is just what we need to raise our interest, stay motivated to deal with the fodder and remind ourselves of how amazing life at the top end of thinking can be.
Nobody treats you better than you treat yourself. We are all really hard on ourselves. Nobody beats us up more than we beat ourselves up. And this is true across all humanity. Breaking that pattern is a good thing. As your coach, I make it my absolute duty to watch for signs that you’re beating yourself up, being hard on yourself, critical or judgmental about yourself and arrest that immediately. Wisdom is the instantaneous recognition that crisis is a blessing but when we look in the mirror we often see only what’s wrong with us. And because people become as we treat them, then if we continue to treat ourselves as less than amazing, we become less than amazing. Preventing you from beating yourself up also translates into helping you not be hard on others too. Remember, you are the environment you create and all that starts with mood.
In this diagram you will see the model of relationship. Two individuals are individual 66.666% of their existence is self determined. 33.333333% of their existence is in collaboration with a significant other. In this area, if we include, house renovations, child care, personal health, financial investments and what we do on the weekend. the aspect of life that is meant to occupy that collaborative space, love, intimacy and connection goes out. It’s like we can’t have it all. And more than 33.333% of collaboration is impossible without depressions and fights.
Hence, coaching must provide an environment for discussion of matters that would be best not included in that connective zone, such as work, stress, health, financial, spiritual matters. This leaves the real essence of relationship to fill that space, should the couple desire an improved love life.
The noxious habit of couples to speak their mind about all matters of life with their partner is the undoing of many a perfect relationship. So, simply creating an environment for conversation about everything else, leaving intimacy, romance and family for the connective zone, really does raise the connection in any relationship. Hence, my coaching helps families indirectly through conversations on matters of an individual nature 66.6666% of life and leaves the 33.3333% connection more clear.
I hope this helps inspire those who might be wondering why the hell some people thrive with the support and guidance of my coaching The Innerwealth Process.