Today we are going to discuss contentment. It is a very appropriate conversation because we have been generating allot of excitement and inspiration about the future with viewpoint and mind-power. It is important to include contentment just in case you become somehow obsessed with the future and forget contentment which is the present moment.
Your future is built on a bedrock of luck. That might seem funny or strange to an innocent observer but unless you can honestly say that you are lucky to be where you are right now, you can disconnect yourself from a relationship with a power greater than you for arriving here and going into the future. In other words, the universal forces.
Grasping and desire keep us dissatisfied. That is a well known fact and so you have been shown in the 30 day challenge introduction to Innerwealth as a priority exercise how to be a lucky FKR. Counting your blessings is another way to say it.
I have played games with you like:
- Are you a billionaire? If not, I’ll give you $500,000,000 for your eyeballs. Just to prove that nothing is missing it just changes in form.
- Is somebody giving you the shits? Well where do you have that exact same quality that’s prickling your mind and if so, are you giving you the shits? Just to prove that you can’t hate one person without hating yourself.
- Is there a bad quality you are trying to protect your children from? Because that’s a golden change you are attracting what you fear right into their life.
- Are you saving for a rainy day? If so, what you think about you bring about and rain is definitely on the way to use those savings.
- Are you trying to rescue someone? Because rescue breeds resentment. Better to say “there’s nothing to rescue” and see the abundance in others rather than their pain.
Contentment comes from the natural spiritual life. When that spiritual life comes into everyday thinking, it lightens all the burdens that we have. It makes life smooth. When there is no appreciation, no receptivity, no sense of luck for arriving in our current circumstances we sink like a rock, emotionally, physically, mentally and materially.
Instead, we must float. Receptive to movement. Considering ourselves lucky to be where we are. And that can only happen if you have the tools to handle the challenges life brings. For example it is easy to push people away that cause us discomfort but it is wiser to grow from the experience and learn to accept and appreciate (love) the quality in them that causes you discomfort. That way you evolve.
When you reach out for things the energy you use usually pushes the thing away. Like the bow of a boat pushing the water. Like reaching for a feather the pressure of reaching pushes it away. The real way to have everything and anything is to want nothing. And then see what comes to you.
This is definitely not passive. You must be clear on what you want to come. You will be drawing images in your mind of the future you would love for the world and yourself. You will be affirming and chanting your self talk. You will be drafting goals and doing everything you can, as is described in the manifestation formula of Innerwealth. However, you must learn to deal with whatever comes to you.
Whatever challenge or discomfort comes to you maybe luck too. Sometimes, something you need to learn in order to operate in the very zone you have affirmed is bought to you in the form of chaos, discomfort or dislike.
For example you might say “I want to be the CEO of a big organisation.” But what you might not recognise are the soft skills that are the secret qualities of a CEO. There maybe a gap between who you think you are and what is required. This gap is a terrible crevasse in a mountain slope where snow has formed a bridge and you just can’t see any difference between the surface that’s safe and the 400m drop that’s just one footstep away.
In real mountaineering we use our ice axe to poke into snow on every step searching for those crevasse and have ropes to catch us if we slip down one. That’s standard protocol, and in life, being inspired means we also tread wisely with each step. That wise stepping is called “CONTENTMENT.”
Now you might think a contented person is going to be so comfortable that they just want to laze about on a beach near a coconut tree and wait for coconuts to drop out of the tree for lunch. Not so.
A contented person has a spiritual core that can translate what’s going on around them into a sense of good fortune, a sense of good luck, a sense of gratitude, ultimately contentment means “TO APPRECIATE” things as they are.
Many people want to go out and change the world. This is the equivalent of coating the world with leather instead of wearing sandals. Ridiculous and narcissistic. They blame everything and everyone for all their troubles.
The narcissist is obsessed with controlling their environment, and the people in it, to cause what they deem as good spaces. That need, such as control of their partner, children, home life, is an obsession with their mental strength and is termed resilience. But the tool they use is to annihilate the opposition. More akin to Hitler’s strategy but they do it under the banner of goodness. “I’m just helping you” which is a bold lie, albeit accidental.
If you are willing to take whatever comes and to care for it and cultivate it, then everything comes. Appreciation grows and builds and this starts with the stuff you did not invite in your dream board or affirmed in your daily masturbations (or as some call it – meditations).
You first need to have love within yourself. That begins with the self-talk that goes on inside you. We use the PAC process. Parent, Adult, Child. This is identical to the Gold Medal winning sport psychology of “Motivate, Instruct and Reward (MIR).
When you learn to do your daily PAC, always in the morning before speaking from your mouth, you cultivate that self-talk of a champion, then you become unstoppable. Think about any great sport achievement: Usain Bolt, Chris Froome, Annemiek van Vleuten or choose any sport you know, golf, footy, table tennis and what you are usually watching at the finish line of every event, are a group of champions, equally physically qualified, out thinking each other. The winner always has the power of self talk greater than those who come second. And it’s the same at work.
One of the reasons I love New York is that from the lowest job to the highest, the self talk is powerful. No shame in that. No shame in backing and believing in yourself. Whereas here in Australia, the quiet achiever is celebrated and tall poppies are cut down. Self talk in Australia is the worst I’ve witnessed in the entire world. But it’s improving. Our children come home from school, a public school that has them standing and presenting in front of the class, rehearsing, asking questions publicly in school without shame. This is exceptional because self-talk, requires this early childhood nurturing.
Self-talk causes bullying. Not from the bully but from the bullied who has usually been stomped on by over protective or baggage laden parents. These people grow up into adults who struggle with self-talk. So, whether you are a natural at it, whether you are the result of parental baggage or bullied into silence by loud parents or bad schooling, you can turn it around any day you choose.
Self-talk generates your Oura. Self talk puts you to sleep at night. The whole world comes to your door with the right self talk. If you want more love don’t go looking for it, talk to yourself in more loving language. Self-talk that’s untrained and bad and looking to replace it with accolades from partner or boss is like looking for your car keys when they are actually in your pocket.
So, there is a lot of confusion about contentment in our society. People think that it is about not wanting and not having and environmental sustainability or collecting and possessing friends or lovers but not about wealth or building things. I gave up all my worldly possessions and went to find myself. When I found myself I found that my self talk was the same whether I was with or without assets. Without the wealth, the self-talk was louder and more negative and the opportunities for joy diminished with the volume of that self-talk. It turns out that self talk is the imprisonment that those who search for freedom are trying to escape. Sadly, wherever they go, the self-talk follows.
So if your dream has you on a beach for life, then you need a financial sponsor but maybe the beach represents contentment and calm and, with proper self-talk, you don’t need to give up your assets and find a coconut tree to be free. And, by the way, living on a beach comes with its share of challenges which self talk doesn’t.
Contentment is the same as abundance. It’s all about how you see life. If your self-talk is critical, judgemental, harsh then no matter what you’ve got, it’ll never be enough and there will be no REWARD. This is often a symptom of a child that has grown up too fast, they missed the child (reward) aspect of self-talk and can’t give themselves credit for anything for long. It’s just never good enough. That’s extremely stressful to live with as a partner too.
Other individuals are helecopter parented and don’t grow their instructor, adult inner voice, then no matter what they’ve got they become vulnerable to the instructions of others. Easily led. This is often the case with addictive personalities, They do not have a healthy relationship with their self-talk in the Adult area of life.
Finally, there are some whose parents had high expectations, so high that the child never felt accepted. The parent occupied the motivator or Parent self talk for the entire formative years, pushing the child so hard that the child didn’t adapt to their own inner dialogue in the self-motivator, Adult self talk. This is usually the trigger for eating disorders and depressions.
Your inner self talk is the key. You can train it. Your Innerwealth can exist in a vacuum and so, can be trained to speak anyway you wish. And this is the source of life’s contentment.
In ZEN Buddhist teaching the Innerwealth needs nothing, wants nothing and therefore has everything. That’s inner wealth. Abundance. Contentment.
Differentiating the inner voice from the outer voices is the key to inspiration. Those who are subject to the emotional currents of the outer voices, their emotions, mental thoughts, whims and the opinions of others are what’s called weak but that is the essential nature of motivation. A motivational person is actually taking the place of your inner voice and your outer voice and doing the PAC, MIR (motivate, instruct and reward) for you. That’s the extreme of loss of self-talk.
Inner voice and outer voices are two totally different and very competitive animals. Your outer voice will by it’s intended and very nature always want more. It can never ever be satisfied. That’s the exact nature of a tree growing rings and if every the tree stopped growing it dies. You too. So don’t think the outer voice of desire or appetite for success is wrong, no, it’s essential for all human existence.
But just as a train needs a pilot to race at 300 km/hr down a track so too, you need a good, strong, constant and powerful inner voice to steer you in life. And that pilot is your SELF-TALK. Are you with me?
Nobody on earth wants less. Ok some people say less stress but what they mean is more success without stress. So nobody wants less. We all want more. That’s why the achievement of one goal in life creates the possibility of two more. It’s a bullet train, racing toward a station and that’s what longevity and health and happiness mean. You on track. But the train cannot drive itself. Your inner voice, your self-talk is the pilot and the pilot will fall asleep and go silent and the train will just get faster and faster and faster and faster and not even stop at the station if the pilot falls asleep.
Most people take their self-talk, contentment in life for granted. They do not even consider for one second that they can change it, or that it is actually driving their life. They just react like monkeys and throw poo at people they don’t like, and love bananas.
The problem that motivated people (listen to the outer voices) have in general is that they only do their self-talk, affirmation and visualisation practice when they feel the need for it. In other words, when they feel discontent. That’s like look out the train window and seeing the station pass by and regretting that you forgot to stop. Too late mate.
Once discontent has come, due usually to a long period of success or happiness where we fall asleep at the inner wheel of self-talk, people start taking time out or attending the most expensive seminar on earth, a hospital bed.
Trying to meditate at the end of the day is like having an orgasm before sex. Or some ridiculous idea of listening to calming music after behaving like a baboon all day angry or frustrated. Contentment is the ground zero and contentment is Self-talk and Self-talk is no accident.
When a person operates on the premise that they will do the spiritual stuff, like affirmations, denials and visualisations or self talk Parent, Adult, Child only when it’s needed, they are somehow trapped between a rock and a hard place. They are accepting the influence of the inner voice, they are aware of the power of the Innerwealth practices, WALKA CHI, WALKA TALK, WALKA WAKEUP, but they end up with half cooked chicken for dinner.
That leads to half arsed living which is even worse than the mental health problems and depressions they had before. Half hearted anything is hell. A half hearted relationship, a half hearted walk on the beach, half hearted effort to do a great job, it’s mediocrity and that’s the highest aspiration some people have. Half arsed living.
Doing affirmations and visualisations, once in a while, leaving self talk to the Gods of outer voices and our own emotional monkey voice, that’s a waste and an enormous amount of time and energy will go into trying to make a monkey into a baboon. This life, the fluctuater, who only do their spiritual practices when they feel bad or guilty or discontent also make more mistakes, stay in the wrong relationships, cause others to become weak and impact their team and their children negatively.
You can see that in all courses that people go to – to help them develop greater contentment or inner peace as they refer to it, there is an instability in their life because a motivator is involved who earns income from becoming the substitute inner voice. They become the replacement inner voice, a GURU, but leave the individual with self-talk unchanged, It’s a form of addiction. Instead I operate as the ANTI GURU GURU. I help you to change the inner dialogue within yourself.
You will also witness those who strive to achieve things in order to be content. They will believe that when they achieve a certain outcome or goal, a certain result, they will become content. But if you look at their life, they have never been content in spite of the fact they have achieved allot. Achievement, they think, is the solution to their discontent. But really, abundance is the solution, and abundance is accepting or better put, being grateful for what is, as it is.
Then there are parents who want their children to become the substitute innervoice and become extremely dominating, manipulating or vicariously seeking to be someone else through the achievements of their children. We all see how that ends in the school yard.
So, there is inner contentment and, there is outer desire for more. The two compete with each other but they do not have to compete. You can have innerwealth and outer wealth both at one time. You just need to know the source of the inner voice and stabilise your mind noise enough to hear it.
The voice of your heart if trained well, will help us to face all things; to be the same amongst order and chaos.
Abundance also requires us to be open to all experiences in this moment. To witness life fully awakened. This is not to call life as it is, but to translate life into a prescribed box. In other words you don’t always choose what you witness, to see violence, starvation, racism and pain and suffering, but you can choose the self talk, the feelings, the emotions you have as a result.
The inner voice – self talk can cause the new parking spot, the size of the car, the new suit, or the size of the house, or bank account. These are achievements but the inner voice can also create contentment. There is much changeability in these things and therefore we must be the pilot of our inner talk. There is more to life than having other people substitute their voice of motivation, instruction or reward for us. We need to find a contentment that we are in control of even amongst those so called darker things.
Where there is insufficiency, there is unhealthy self-talk, and therefore further conflict, further struggle, further pain. That is, where self-talk will, consciously or unconsciously, drive insecurity of insufficiency. Then there must be internal conflict, there must be misery and a sense of shallowness and emptiness and of the utter futility of life. It is all simply self-talk.
What is the process of changing self-talk when the mind has a perception of insufficiency? What happens when one becomes conscious of this emptiness, this shallowness within one’s self-talk? What do we do when we become conscious of this emptiness, of this void in ourselves driven by self-talk? We desire to fill that emptiness, often by looking for a pattern, for a mould created by another; we imitate, follow that pattern, we discipline ourselves in that mould which another has established, hoping that we may thereby fill this emptiness, this shallowness of which we have become more or less conscious.
That in turn makes things worse because we still talk to ourselves as before but we are acting in contradiction to self-talk trying to be someone else. Not this doesn’t work because we begin to reject our own particular experiences and the understanding of these experiences. When we feel insufficiency, and we turn to imitate, to copy, and to live through another’s experience, we disrupt two lives, our own and that of the child we wish to live through. And when we look to another’s experience and do not live by our own understanding, there naturally comes more and more of the toxic self talk which builds into uncertainty, more and more conflict between what we say to others and what we say to ourselves.
The solution is to find the weak areas of negative or poor self-talk and correct it. There are three zones of self talk Parent, Adult and Child and you can detect which of those three you lack or are negative in.
If you become aware then you will find out the cause of discontent. Then, instead of seeking completeness in accumulation you create fulfillment, and nature takes good care of the rest.