Good morning. Good afternoon, wherever you are. This is Chris today’s Blog is a podcast or today’s podcast is the blog.
Words matter the way we talk to each other.
It matters, but the way we talk to ourselves is even more critical. The most important conversation we have are the ones that take place now head and this constant internal dialogue, what psychologists call self-talk. Isn’t just idle chatter.
It’s instrumental in creating our sense of identity. It’s the ever deepening story. We tell ourselves about who we are. You know, the script. I can’t do it. I mean, yes, you can keep going. Oh man, this is killing me. Come on, you can do it. But it’s all too hard.
So it goes at the highest levels of human performance, among the stars of AMA Dablam and K2 and Mount Everest summits. The difference in physical ability between people is pretty small.
What separates those, who did it over and over again from those who don’t isn’t necessarily their bodies. It’s their mental strength. As you already know, positive thinking is one of the four habits of the mentally strong and positive self-talk is critical to a positive mindset. It’s how an athlete, an executive and entrepreneur, a mother in labor can talk themselves through pain and controller effort through internal dialogue. As you probably already know, when you talk to yourself down your performance suffers. When you talk yourself up, your performance improves this positive self-talk can be learned, improved and used to drive yourself forward. And that’s what we’re going to do right now.
The first thing to know is that there are three important types of self-talk motivated instructional and reward the first and probably the most familiar to everybody is the motivational self-talk.
This includes all of those affirmations and mini pep talks. You use to get yourself going. It’s how you talk to yourself into or out of anything. You do things like I can do this, or you can make a partner, or I can rebound from this and fall in love again, a bit like the force. However, motivational self-talk has a light side and a dark side, a positive and a negative manifestation.
Negative motivation. Self-talk is the voice of the doubter, the inner skeptic, the whisper in your ear. It’s the voice you hear on those awful days. When errors happen at work and you have a falling out with someone you hoped you would love forever. He’s saying there’s no way I’m going To make it. Everybody seems to be happier than me. It’s the voice telling you. You’re getting tired. You should back off settle for less work, less resigned. Find an easier life. Give up lower your hopes, go and live on a beach somewhere with negative motivational.
Self-talk you try to convince yourself that it’s not worth the effort. It’s like the cosmic wifi system is stuck on a dark channel, broadcasting negativity, right inside your head directly bypassing all your senses. And when you listen to that dark channel, these method messages clearly tell you to give up and you know what? You start to give up. Let me show you how it works.
Close your eyes for a minute. How do you feel?
Tell yourself you’re never going to get there. It’s never going to happen. That’s impossible. That’s a ridiculous goal. There’s no way it’s going to improve. There’s no way it’s going to improve. Things are going to get worse. Things are going to get worse. Now, open your eyes. How do you feel? Probably weak. Probably not good enough. And probably not looking forward to challenging yourself on a hill walk or anything. If you’re using negative motivational, self-talk even unconsciously during the working day, during a workout or in your relationship, you’re dragging yourself down, sapping your own reserves and negatin most of the benefits of all the hard work you put in.
That’s the power this self talk has. But when you change the stations, tune into a more positive station, a higher frequency, amazing things can happen when your self-talk is phrased in supportive motivational, and goal-focused focused way. You’ll feel your emotions change and your body language become more focused. And what seems like insurmountable challenge and obstacles evaporate before your very eyes.
So you can see the opportunities sitting there right in front of you. You believe in yourself, close your eyes. You can do this. You can do anything you want. You will win. You will get to the top. You will have unconditional love. You’ll be successful. You will be a champion. You will change the world. You will be a superhero, Open your eyes. How do you feel most likely a lot better than before and pretty good, certainly better than when you talk to yourself down anyway. And you’re probably looking forward to really smashing that next opportunity. It doesn’t matter if it’s hanging on when someone pushes your buttons at work or getting out of bed after a hard day and facing another one for going that chocolate late at night or ice cream for the dessert, or dealing with something at home.
Motivational self-talk is the fuel that gets you moving. It keeps you focused on your goals too, and helps you push through the pain on your journey towards those goals. If you’re like most people, you’re probably better at talking yourself down than cheering yourself on. We inherit this from our parents. So we’re going to change that to effectively use motivational self-talk. There are two things you need to practice.
First. You need to talk to us, talk yourself as if you were an observer using the word you, instead of I research into positive self-talk shows, it’s more effective. When you talk to yourself in the second person, much like a coach would talk to you. Instead of I can do this. Say, you can do this. This simple change can make all the difference.
First, you need to talk to yourself as if you an observer using the word you, instead of I, instead of I can say, I can do this. You say, you can do this second. And this is really obvious. You need to look at the bright side of things. Look at the negative situation in a positive light. Use the tools for a positive mindset that you’ve learned about later, earlier in the 30 day challenge. So let’s imagine you’re in a meeting and the tension is really high. And someone is really giving you the s***s. You’re struggling to take the lead feeling insecure, almost shy. And you fear that you’re going to go into burst out and say something really stupid, or be asked to question and get all personal in your answer. Negative. Self-talk says I’m struggling in this meeting positive. Self-talk says, this is exactly what you need. It’s making you stronger negative Self-talk says I’m not getting any better positive Self-talk says you’re moving forward. You’re learning from this. You’re growing negative. Self-talk says I’m embarrassed and fearful. I should just get out the door and let them get on with it. Positive. Self-talk says, this is how you should be feeling. The others are struggling too. They’ll give up before you do
Great. Let’s move on. The second time of self-talk is instructional. This is that detail orientated Overwatch for coach in your head who keeps telling you what to do that, that it’s that judge scrutinizing your every moment effective instructor instructional self-talk is focused on the specifics of the technique of the mechanics, of how things are done properly. Like sitting at the desk. You hear keep your back straight, focus on the now, stay calm, keep your breathing under control instructional self-talk. Isn’t just about physical movement though.
It’s also about your attitude.
That’s when instructional self-talk kicks in telling you things like this, you need to get creative about how to overcome this. Just focus and think about what’s happening around you. You just have to see the balance, think gratitude to get through this. When you combine motivational self-talk and instructional self-talk with thought redirection, you can focus more effectively on overcoming the challenges, even when you’re deep in the pain cave. Now thought redirection was covered in an earlier blog thought. Redirection simply means that you visualize a stop sign on the negative or the left-hand path. And you see a go sign on the right hand or positive path. Whenever you feel yourself getting sad, negative resentful, frustrated, unfulfilled, empty, lonely, miserable, depressed. You put up a stop sign and you simply say, I’m going to redirect my thoughts. The one thing that all human beings have the capacity to do is think what they choose. And if we continue down the path of negative thoughts, we will end up in a chemical and mental imbalance and that chemical and mental imbalance will lead to a very negative result. So the sooner you can put up a stop sign and say, stop, go down the other path.
The better it is for you. Let’s imagine you had a rough day and you’re not allowing the mood. When you come home, you still have a lot to do. And certainly don’t feel like going out for any exercise. You start to talk yourself down. You’re too tired. You’re not very organized. It’s all your fault. This is really going to set you back your exercise program and therefore your health is just going off the rails. But as a dedicated student of the inner wealth mental training program, you recognizing this negative mindset and quickly throw up a sign to hold that thought and redirect your thinking towards a more positive outcome, engaging a motivational self-talk you tell yourself, you can get your workout in. You know, you can do it if you really try, just make it happen. Following it up with instructional. Self-talk you say, just get home, get all your equipment set up right away. So you don’t have any excuses in no time. You’ll have pulled yourself together with a renewed determination focused on what’s possible. And what’s positive already. You’re way further ahead than if you’d talked yourself down. Now, as we’ve already learned in this program, the more you do this, the deeper your neural pathways become and the more easily you’ll bring positive motivational instructional self-talk to your experience by the time your event or such challenging situation comes around, you’ll automatically talk yourself into a peak performance that otherwise wouldn’t be possible.
Lastly, let’s talk about reward self-talk.
This is when you say well done after getting through a particular difficulty or a strong effort as a way of congratulating yourself. It’s not just praise though. Just for praises sake reward, self-talk actually helps build self-confidence and self-belief and when your confidence goes up, your mindset goes up and it becomes more positive.
Success, breeds success you will strengthen, and your motivation goes through the roof. It’s important to reward yourself for hard work. You can use phrases like well done. You really smashed at that time. That was an amazing effort. You did. You’re getting so much stronger. Of course, sometimes you’ll slump into negative.
Self-talk when you might not do as well as you hoped, you’ll say, oh, you gave up too soon. You should have tried harder. Or that was a terrible effort. When those thoughts start to intrude, throw up your stop sign, redirect them to a more positive. Self-talk like you tried hard next time. You’ll make it all the way or well done. You really pushed it and found some new limits or you have more inside of you.
And you know, you can give it next time. You can now recognize the three types of self-talk motivational instructional and reward. Now it’s time to improve how you talk to yourself. Here’s what to do next for your next three serious working days. You need to listen to yourself. Talk before, during and after work. Don’t judge it.
Just listen to what you’re saying to yourself in your head. As soon as you finish each, each of those three working days, write down how you talk to yourself how you’re talking to yourself in each of the three areas, motivational instructional, and reward. So I would take it through the day. Just keep notes and then go back over them and write em or I, or R don’t write down everything. Just the fact, the phrases that you hear most often, be honest, get both positive and negative aspect of your conversation with yourself. If you find that you don’t say anything to yourself in a particular area, well, make a note of that too. Once you’ve done that in the next column, write down a few ideas on how you can improve your self-talk pay close attention to the things you’re saying. For example, if you find that you, you don’t use any reward talk at all, then be sure to write down a few reward phrases that you can use every day. When you’ve done that for three days, you’ll have a good starter list of positive self-talk phrases you can use, and you can start using immediately. Now, as you begin to use them, you’ll find that some are more effective in motivating you. The others that’s to be expected. Everyone is different.
And just like everything you’ve learned so far, you need to practice, practice and improve it to make it a habit. Keep paying attention to your self-talk at work and in sporting workouts and events and become your own best cheerleader. Believe in yourself, be the one that screams your name all the way to glory. You can do this, you can do this. I do what I love and I love what I do. And I get paid an extremely, a great amount of money. You get, you can do what you love. You can love what you do, and you will be paid an extraordinary amount of money for it. The challenging thing as a coach, my job is that when times are good, there is no self-talk. You can’t hear yourself talk when everything’s going.
Well, you don’t know what your self talk is because the external factors that are going well become the replacement for your self-talk. But when the outside world pushes back and things, aren’t going so well when the outside world pushes back and things, aren’t going so well, your self-talk kicks in and that’s the self-talk we’re trying to improve.
So the best way to do that, his practice Between performances. In other words, rehearse yourself, talk, work on yourself, talk when you don’t need it. So in the times when you do it’s already there.
This is Chris.
Have a beautiful day. Bye for now.